The irony of online dating is that there is often no love lost in the entire experience. You open your phone hoping for a flirty chat, and instead – bam – a random explicit pic lands in your inbox. You didn’t ask for it, you definitely didn’t want it, and yet, there it is. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone: a recent survey found that 38% of dating app users have received unwanted sexual content, while 30% say they’ve been harassed after rejecting it. Somewhere along the way, cyberflashing became weirdly normalised – like it’s just part of the modern dating landscape. But what if you could take that power back? What if, instead of dodging unwanted nudes, you were the one in control of when (and if) things get steamy? Enter the new Consent Guard feature in the Hily app – the digital dating world’s invitation to “Text me maybe – but ask first!”
Sexologist and sexuality educator Dr. Mindy DeSeta developed the Hily App Consent Guard to ensure intimacy happens only when both parties are into it. The feature uses machine learning to detect explicit messages or images before they land in your DMs. If something looks NSFW, the app pauses it – kind of like a bouncer at the door – and asks for one-click consent from both people. If one person says no (or doesn’t reply), that racy message stays out of sight.
No consent, no sexts, no nudes.
It’s a bold move in an era where “you up?” messages still haunt the 2am hours. For Hily, it’s about reimagining consent for the digital age. “People have gotten too used to online behaviour that wouldn’t be tolerated in real life,” says Liubomyr Pivtorak, Chief Product Officer at Hily App. “If a stranger exposed themselves on the street, we’d be horrified. But in digital spaces, it’s somehow become normal. We wanted to change that.”
And it’s not just about safety – it’s about empowerment. Dr. DeSeta argues that asking for consent can actually be a turn-on, not a buzzkill. “Unsolicited pics have never really worked; they’re mostly just a turn-off,” she says. “Hily’s new feature puts you in charge of your sexuality. Imagine getting a notification that someone wants to get a little flirty – that’s mental foreplay. Consent isn’t a mood killer; it’s a confidence boost.”
Here’s how it works: say someone tries to send you a spicy message or photo. Before it ever reaches you, Hily’s algorithm quietly flags it. The app then prompts the sender to request your permission. You can say yes, no, or ignore it entirely. If you say no, the image disappears into the digital void. If you’re in the mood, you can give a one-click green light, and voilà – permission granted. You can even adjust your preferences depending on your vibe that day: whether you’re feeling hot, chill, or “not tonight, please.”
For longtime Hily app users, Consent Guard replaces the app’s older Explicit Filter feature, which blurred out potentially explicit photos. The new system goes one step further – preventing anything unwanted from appearing in the first place. It’s consent-first, not censor-first, and that distinction matters.
Launched back in 2017, Hily (pronounced Highly. And short for “Hey, I Like You”) has always positioned itself as a more authentic, personality-driven alternative to the usual swipe culture. With over 39 million users worldwide, the app encourages people to date as their real, imperfect, fabulous selves – no pressure to be perfect, no pressure to perform.
And with Consent Guard, Hily app is proving that setting boundaries doesn’t make things less sexy – it makes them better. After all, when both people feel safe, respected, and in control, there’s more room for genuine connection… and maybe even a little heat.
So next time someone slides into your DMs, you don’t have to brace for impact. Whether you’re in the mood for flirty banter or a wholesome chat about your star signs, you get to call the shots. Because when it comes to dating – online or off – consent isn’t optional. It’s everything.
