As Oprah Winfrey says (in a quote also attributed to David Russell),
“One of the hardest things in life to learn is which bridges to cross and which bridges to burn.”
So, you want to set some goals for 2023? I get it, it’s the end of the year and you want to start the new one with a fresh mindset and goals to keep you motivated. I hear you, good intentions are there but how many of us really keep our word with our New Year’s resolutions? Hardly anyone and I can share with you why!
Many a time we rattle off our New Year’s resolutions, our goals hoping to guide us through the next 365 days. Most will write these down quickly in an off-handed manner with no attachment or feeling behind them. New Year’s resolutions are usually half-hearted in their desire with no real conviction behind them. So let’s breakdown a few ingredients needed in creating our own goals.
Desire vs Want
It’s about how we ask ourselves the ‘right’ questions. How we ask ourselves questions can either empower or disempower our state. Asking the right questions will get you into a grounded state where you are able to ponder, you get to imagine what it would be like to achieve these goals. And here’s where you find out if the desire is there and not just the want. Wanting a goal is fine but when you add Desire to a goal, you get some oomph into it.
Desire puts some feeling and passion into a goal. A Want is a thought and if you only use your mind for a goal only, it can be fleeting and easily swept aside.
Motivation vs Intention
We all have good intentions but intentions alone are just ideas of what we’d like to do without follow through. The difference between Motivation and Intention is where one has plan of attack, a strategy to follow whilst the latter is again a fleeting thought and thought that can lost in our day to day existence. Here’s where we bring in your accountability, your commitment to follow through even when the going gets a little tough!
Flexibility vs Resistance
If you’re wanting something different in your life but you keep doing the same thing, most of the time you’ll be disappointed by getting the same old results and questioning why are you here yet again. Being Flexible simply means you’re open to doing things differently, open to trying different approaches to see what works or doesn’t. Resistance occurs when we hold on so tight to our daily habits that keep us in the same position. We’re all familiar with Einstein’s definition of insanity – “doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results”
Let’s look at where to begin:
- Write out a list of intentions on a sheet of paper
- Rattle them off at this point
- Have about 10-20 intentions
- Group them into any of the sections below
- Personal Development
- Family | Friends
- Fun | Hobbies
- Significant Other
- Choose 1-3 sections with your intentions and ask yourself for each section the questions below to create the goal (project) you want and desire. Then re-write your project in present time, as if achieved and including some of your answers below:
- How would I feel if I already had this?
- How would you feel if you didn’t move towards this?
- Is this an achievable project for the next 3 months?
- Is this something I’m committed to?
- Do I feel motivated to achieve this?
- How do these changes impact my life now?
- Am I ready to action this?
- Am I willing to change and step out of my comfort zone?
Flexibility & Resistance
- Now we’ve turned our chosen intentions into a project (goal), here’s where our strategies come into play. By reframing and choosing to call them projects, we can find some more motivation and momentum
- Within this project, create a timeline visually
- Create 2 week intervals for an approximate 12 week project
- For every 2 week period, implement mini steps for direction and moment
- At the end of 2 weeks we measure and review the mini steps for what’s working and what’s not
You’ve answered the questions above and got some feeling behind your intentions. You’re ready to step up your action plan for each project. By keeping track of how and what you’re doing every 2 weeks, lets you be accountable for maintaining your momentum but also allows you to keep your passion a light to complete your projects.
So instead of just writing out your New Year’s Resolutions, put some grunt into your intentions by adding your desires and creating an action plan. Turn your thoughts to more than just a goal floating in the air, make them happen by having what were first just intentions become your reality.
Women Love Tech would like to thank Life Strategist & Animal Communicator Simonne Lee for her contribution.