If you’ve ever had your teenage daughter try to to explain TikTok trends to your mum. Or attempted to explain to your elderly Father why there is so much more than Facebook, then you’ll know that social media isn’t just an app – it’s an intergenerational minefield. A new report from Western Sydney University’s Young and Resilient Research Centre, in collaboration with Meta, has just dropped, and it’s putting families’ voices about “Intergenerational perspectives on social media safety” front and centre in the great debate about teens, screens and safer scrolling.
Titled Intergenerational perspectives on social media safety, the report digs into the lived experiences of parents and young people aged 13 to 16. It’s timely, too: from December this year, new laws will kick in restricting under-16s from creating social media accounts. That’s a big deal when you consider that 98% of Aussie 15-year-olds are already online daily. But what do the people most affected – young people and their parents – actually think?
Turns out, the story is much more complicated than “ban it” versus “let them scroll”.
Parents: Worried, weary but wanting help
Parents interviewed for the report described a digital landscape that feels both essential and exhausting. They see the positives – connection, learning opportunities, even job leads – but they can’t ignore the darker side. One father from New South Wales admitted, “We know a lot of parents who have gone through social media bullying. There’s a lot of documented cases of children self-harming… because of social media bullying. That’s one of our biggest risks and our fears.”
Others flagged harmful content, from “misogynistic, violent, dangerous, unsafe, unhealthy messaging” to the subtle pressures of filtered perfection on Instagram. As one Queensland dad put it, “Self-image is a big thing… it makes it harder for them to not judge themselves.”
And then there’s what many parents call “addiction”. The endless scroll of short videos has some mums and dads wondering if social media is rewiring attention spans altogether.
But rather than simply locking phones away, a lot of parents are leaning into dialogue, not discipline. One Victorian father explained, “We’re very open and very transparent with things. So our kids know if something’s wrong they’re not necessarily in trouble straight away. As a family unit, we’ll work together.”
That doesn’t mean rules go out the window. Some families use parental control apps, enforce “no devices in bedrooms”, or set screen time cut-offs. Still, many parents admit kids are resourceful enough to get around restrictions. Which is why, for most, the real goal isn’t control, but resilience.
Teens: Savvy, social and sick of not being heard
If parents worry about safety, young people are equally clear on what’s at stake: connection, identity, and belonging. For them, social media isn’t separate from “real life” – it is life. As one 15-year-old girl put it, “I use it [social media] to escape [and] be in my own time.” Another explained, “[Social media] helps me stay connected to my cousin who lives with their dad.”
They’re not blind to risks either. Kids in the workshop flagged cyberbullying, scams, self-image pressures and misinformation as real issues. But here’s the kicker: when restrictions get slapped on without their input, they’ll simply adapt. Think burner phones, dummy accounts or migrating to gaming platforms. One 14-year-old boy summed it up bluntly: “Kids will just go on a different platform that’s not called social media, it’ll be gaming or something, but we’ll do the same things.”
And as for the government ban? Most young people in the study were unimpressed. Many described the policy as punitive and disconnected from reality. “Ask young people what they think. We are the most affected,” said a 15-year-old participant. Others worried the ban would cut them off from vital support networks, including mental health resources. A non-binary teen framed it in terms of rights: “Not being able to talk to support groups or find mental health resources makes things worse.”
Still, interestingly, some teens said they’d prefer parents to have the final say rather than Canberra. “They’re taking too much control from parents. Parents should get the final say,” said one 13-year-old boy.
More talk. Less top down rules
One of the biggest takeaways from the research is that trust and open dialogue matter more than blanket restrictions. Families stressed that communication is key – whether that’s parents taking the time to understand the platforms, or kids feeling safe enough to admit when something online gets messy. “We need transparency and trust in each other,” said a 14-year-old boy. “The kid being able to trust the adult in their life to have a conversation without feeling like they’re not being listened to.”
That point hits home when you consider that, for some households, legislation is less effective than lived family values. Parents from migrant and culturally diverse families, as well as those with neurodivergent kids, described how digital parenting is rarely one-size-fits-all. A Western Australian father admitted, “You’ve got to inform yourself… it might be uncomfortable… but ultimately, if you want the best for your kid, you want to understand it more.”
#What’sNext
The report calls on governments, tech companies and schools to share responsibility with families – not just dump it on them. That means clear, consistent communication about new rules, practical tools for parents, and genuine consultation with young people. Because, as the research makes clear, young people don’t want to be left to their own devices. They just want to be part of the conversation.
Or, to put it in teen terms: don’t ghost them.
As the Young and Resilient Research Centre’s findings show, building safer online futures isn’t about shutting down apps – it’s about opening up dialogue. Families already know the stakes. What they need is support to navigate this digital world together.
And maybe, just maybe, the next time a TikTok dance goes viral, you’ll see parents joining in, not just worrying about it.
