Do you ever get the feeling that everyone hates I.T. staff members?
I have consulted with the elders of the Internet. They are too busy working to talk about a holiday unless of course it involves the hotly debated day off if the Matildas secure a position in the semi-finals of the FIFA Women’s World Cup. So I’ve decided to use some initiative and declare my own holiday.
Why? ICT remains a male-dominated industry. That’s okay, but organising social events isn’t going to be one of their strong suits.
Nobody in ICT celebrates Easter, Christmas or major holidays… no we are too busy hiding in server rooms avoiding the shopping crowds. Other people might be ordering their presents online in a stairwell.
Please remember: This article is written for the nerdiest person in the world. If that’s not you, please stop reading.
Holiday Date Shortlist
I went online and did some internet research. And that was it. I couldn’t find anything definitive.
- 4th May – celebrated by all Star Wars nerds and geeks
- 8th September – Star Trek Day. Celebrated by super nerds and geeks
- 19th September – National IT Professionals Day (the third Tuesday of every September)
- 9th November – unofficial Thank Your Tech Worker’s Day
Why do tech workers need a holiday?
- Do technology workers get stressed? Yes.
- We get tired of resetting your password. Yes.
- Yes, the system administrators know your password. Yes, they can read your computer… if they want to. And yes, they know who is having an office affair!
- You can whinge and bitch and moan until the cows come home. But if we don’t like you, we will fix your tech issues, when we want to. Or at least until someone junior can be hired too.
- No, Jen doesn’t want to play your weird work games.
What is a 505 error?
To be honest, I’m not sure what a 505 error is. I’m not a system administrator, although I do my own website admin. So I’m going to make this up. A 505 error is any technical bug or error that occurs outside of office hours. It might show up at 5 minutes past 5 pm, in the evening. Typically, you will have completed your timesheet, packed up your bag, gone to the toilet and you’re ready to go home.
At this point, you can turn your phone to silent and ignore all messages, until the next morning. Or have a sick day. It depends on what is causing the 505 error… if you have no idea, then you’ll need to sleep on it. You might even need to reach out to an old friend or enemy for advice.
Who is a tech worker?
A technology professional is anyone with an Information Technology university degree or equivalent. Tech students are accepted. Anyone who has extensively studied ICT subjects or courses over their career. Anyone who believes in lifelong learning.
They can be a retired ICT professional. They can be mid-career. They can be living overseas, on secondment or trying another profession. This may include instructional designers, multimedia, gaming and audio professionals. Teachers and educators are also welcome. Tech workers never retire.
An ICT professional is not:
- a high school student who has designed one dodgy-looking website
- An engineer (unless they are a software engineer) – slightly grey area.
- Someone who sends you lots of annoying emails.
- A marketing person
- Someone who monitors your timesheet.
- Anyone in human resources.
- Someone who overcharges you for writing a letter or sending an email.
- A lawyer.
When is the Thank Your Tech Worker’s Day?
I’m declaring the 9 November as the global Thank Your Tech Worker’s Day. Anyone who identifies as an ICT professional can take this day off as an unofficial holiday. They can have a digital detox and not touch any of their devices for work purposes.
But why this date? It’s Hedy Lamarr’s birthday. She was born on 9 November 1914.
Although, this could turn out to be just a ‘damp squib’.
What happens to all of the non-technical workers?
You can tell them repeatedly, “Have you tried to turn it on, and off, again?” Then swap over to a super noisy, mechanical keyboard. And keep repeating, “What? What did you say?”. Until the other person hangs up in frustration.
You’ll need to apply for holiday or recreation leave as soon as possible. Before all the other ICT staff members cotton on to the unofficial public holiday. Block this day out as soon as you have access to your online calendar or diary.
Also, avoid telling your Chief Executive Officer or Manager for as long as possible.
Excuses for taking The Tech Worker’s Holiday off?
Here are some ready-made excuses for taking this new unofficial day off work:
- Schedule in watching Ferris Bueller’s Day Off for some inspiration
- Migraine or headache
- Trip hazard at work – caused by electrical wires (optical fibre or telco?)
- You need to go to Officeworks to colour print and bind the latest cybersecurity manuals from the Australian Information Security Association (AISA)
- You left your CISCO password at home
- You left your mobile phone at home
- You accidentally bought your kid’s mobile phone to work (Unfortunately, Bluey and Bingo do not know your authentication keys).
- Sore back
- Sore lower back from standard office provided chair
- Sore upper back from keyboard and mouse
- Sore upper back from standard office provided desk
- How’s my standing desk online form application going?
- Memorise the line, “He’s on a very brief personal call”.
What do I wear on the Tech Worker’s Holiday?
You can wear all black, your favourite T-shirt or dress up as a character from the popular comedy show, “The I.T. Crowd”. Reading glasses and calculator watches are optional.
If you are near a beach, then you can throw the dress code out of the window. Literally and figuratively.
How do I decorate the office?
So you have prearranged your day off, don’t forget to rub it into all of the office workers left behind. Here are some suggestions:
- Add a fun chat message to your chatbot
- Update all of the screensavers with a fun message like “Happy Tech Worker’s Day!”
- Leave stale pizza, doughnuts and stale cake in the office fridge
- Force everyone to do cybersecurity training
- Laminate your holiday sign for the server room, and hand out a copy to all of the ICT support team.
- Accidentally “trip over” a random cord
What do I do on the Tech Workers’ Holiday?
Just remember the golden rule: “What happens on Tech Worker’s Day, stays with the tech workers.”
This means no posting photos on social media or anywhere. At least, until 24 to 48 hours have passed. Remember to support and stay in solidarity with your global ICT workers.
So, what aren’t we going to do?
Although ICT people sometimes like rules, it is an unofficial holiday. So these are just some friendly suggestions:
- Don your black sunglasses and take a trip in a red convertible.
- Go to your favourite sports game
- Visit your favourite art gallery with the gang
- You can hang out at your local Kingpin or B. Lucky and Sons or local Funhouse.
- Turn all of your mobile phones and electronic devices off.
- Get plastered
How can you help celebrate the Tech Worker’s Holiday?
You can share the news:
- with your LinkedIn members:
- With other social media platforms, such as BeReal, Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, Snapchat, TikTok, or YouTube.
- Tell all of your work colleagues at the next team meeting
- Tell all of your nerdy friends at lunch, games night or table tennis
- Be brave and announce it over a microphone.
Let’s show everyone who owns the Internet. Let’s get this holiday trending this month.
Feel free to start using any of these hashtags: #techworksholiday #ITProDay #NationalItProfessionalsDay #ItProfessionalsDay